your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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