Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
birth control should be required to get into college
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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