Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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