Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize