Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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