Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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