so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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