Whoa Z and x make the same sound
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You are the jesus of drinking
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
