hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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