My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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