I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
