no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize