Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.