I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.