I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
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If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
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We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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