i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
