I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
