Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
