Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We are two peas in an std pod
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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