I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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