You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
