i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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