no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.