shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Vodka?
Forever.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
