CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
