She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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