Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg

(410): View more from Maryland

Omg suz!! take the unibrow off

(516): View more from New York

No! im just getting hammered instead

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(516): Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg (410): Omg suz!! take the unibrow off (516): No! im just getting hammered instead http://tfl.nu/mscr

Replies (12) Good night (2781) Bad night (605)
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(310): View more from California

she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.

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(310): she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category. http://tfl.nu/bs6u

Replies (55) Good night (936) Bad night (11618)
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(330): View more from Ohio

if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.

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(330): if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would. http://tfl.nu/x08w

Replies (16) Good night (4142) Bad night (1320)
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(941): View more from Florida

my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.

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(941): my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store. http://tfl.nu/vfks

Replies (20) Good night (6335) Bad night (856)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.

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(202): Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile. http://tfl.nu/r7sn

Replies (6) Good night (1199) Bad night (3362)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.

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(717): I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both. http://tfl.nu/vzdh

Replies (4) Good night (1057) Bad night (2158)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.

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(217): Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls. http://tfl.nu/z40q

Replies (16) Good night (4508) Bad night (1271)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.

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(651): i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him. http://tfl.nu/14sr

Replies (5) Good night (3008) Bad night (966)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.

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(319): Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year. http://tfl.nu/pkn3

Replies (5) Good night (1922) Bad night (631)
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(956): View more from Texas

One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth

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(956): One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth http://tfl.nu/vmxy

Replies (2) Good night (509) Bad night (766)
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(718): View more from New York

He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?

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(718): He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible? http://tfl.nu/fv2h

Replies (3) Good night (857) Bad night (480)
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(+61): View more from Australia

We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime

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(+61): We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime http://tfl.nu/tsil

Replies (1) Good night (585) Bad night (467)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco

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(202): walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco http://tfl.nu/wpyq

Replies (1) Good night (421) Bad night (628)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public

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(412): College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public http://tfl.nu/5mhd

Replies (2) Good night (508) Bad night (367)
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(404): View more from Georgia

The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay

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(404): The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay http://tfl.nu/84a3

Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (167)

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