Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.