I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
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he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
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That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.