I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.