cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery