you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
