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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)

  (586): View more from Michigan

  It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  why is this not a picture message?!?!

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick

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• (509): View more from Washington

  You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  What did you cook with whisky?

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We started a fire.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (713): View more from Texas

  That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.

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• (209): View more from California

  I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.

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