Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
did i walk over a car last night?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
