Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
