I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
