can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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