I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
