Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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