I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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