why didn't you poke me back
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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