no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
