check it out our google latitudes are spooning
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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