Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
