your parents love me but you hate me
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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