hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize