Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
