I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
