covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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