Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
