...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
It was confusing and full of hummus
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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