I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
as a side note pls kill me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
