I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
