Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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