on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So vagazzling was a success
I need to align my fucking chakras
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