Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
