I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?