You can't special order awesome
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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