So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
