You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
