It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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