physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Girls should come with a carfax report
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
