We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
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It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
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I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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