i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
