are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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