We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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