How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
